Happy Easter!
I hesitated for a moment before deciding to pause my blogging to celebrate the Easter Triduum, but I am very glad I did. People can recommend left and right that I write a blog entry every day but, I have to remember that this whole project is about finding out more about me and embracing the things that are important to me and finding in them the path that my life is meant to take. It's not that I don't care about anyone else, but as much as I am eager to hear your feedback and comments on your own goals and experiences, the point of this blog is for me to share my personal journey and for you to share your personal journey, not for me to fit into a "blogger hov lane," following rules and churning out a generic (and I would think boring) blog. I don't even really know what a blog is supposed to be exactly. However, I learned from a close friend that there really aren't any "supposed to be's" in life. Life happens the way it happens, not the way it is supposed to happen.
And that is basically the heart of what I've discovered over the last few days. We need to embrace who we are and stop worrying about who we are supposed to be. This reminds me of the first exercise in one of the books I plan on working with through this project (I Can Do Anything), wherein the reader draws a picture or makes a collage of him or herself with things that represent who they are expected (by the people close to them) to be. It is funny to read the descriptions of some of the pictures the author has seen people put together for this exercise because they combine things that are highly difficult, if not impossible, to achieve all at the same time.
For me, one of the moments when I realized something about who I am came when I was at the Easter Vigil Mass on Saturday. I was prayerfully trying to listen to the homily, especially since I was there to celebrate my close friend's Confirmation and First Communion; and yet, one thought pervaded my brain. I could deliver the same homily so much better. Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about women priests or judging the content of the priest's homily. I am simply saying that if I had read through his homily once or twice, I could have delivered it better than he did. We already know that I like to read and write and talk, and right then I remembered that I enjoy and am good at speaking in public, too. I felt badly about looking down on the priest's delivery of a homily, but I was happy to rediscover a part of who I am that I had overlooked for quite a while.
So, as May draws nearer, I become increasingly anxious about whether or not I can keep up with the demands that I set for myself in planning the structure of this project and whether or not May was the right month to begin the project, but also increasingly excited about the prospects that lie ahead. I look forward to getting to know myself better.
What kind of experiences do you have with who you feel you are supposed to be compared to who you are? Have you found what you want to do in life? Do the people that you respect and care for the most see why you chose what you did or do you feel pressured that you are supposed to be doing something different?
I hesitated for a moment before deciding to pause my blogging to celebrate the Easter Triduum, but I am very glad I did. People can recommend left and right that I write a blog entry every day but, I have to remember that this whole project is about finding out more about me and embracing the things that are important to me and finding in them the path that my life is meant to take. It's not that I don't care about anyone else, but as much as I am eager to hear your feedback and comments on your own goals and experiences, the point of this blog is for me to share my personal journey and for you to share your personal journey, not for me to fit into a "blogger hov lane," following rules and churning out a generic (and I would think boring) blog. I don't even really know what a blog is supposed to be exactly. However, I learned from a close friend that there really aren't any "supposed to be's" in life. Life happens the way it happens, not the way it is supposed to happen.
And that is basically the heart of what I've discovered over the last few days. We need to embrace who we are and stop worrying about who we are supposed to be. This reminds me of the first exercise in one of the books I plan on working with through this project (I Can Do Anything), wherein the reader draws a picture or makes a collage of him or herself with things that represent who they are expected (by the people close to them) to be. It is funny to read the descriptions of some of the pictures the author has seen people put together for this exercise because they combine things that are highly difficult, if not impossible, to achieve all at the same time.
For me, one of the moments when I realized something about who I am came when I was at the Easter Vigil Mass on Saturday. I was prayerfully trying to listen to the homily, especially since I was there to celebrate my close friend's Confirmation and First Communion; and yet, one thought pervaded my brain. I could deliver the same homily so much better. Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about women priests or judging the content of the priest's homily. I am simply saying that if I had read through his homily once or twice, I could have delivered it better than he did. We already know that I like to read and write and talk, and right then I remembered that I enjoy and am good at speaking in public, too. I felt badly about looking down on the priest's delivery of a homily, but I was happy to rediscover a part of who I am that I had overlooked for quite a while.
So, as May draws nearer, I become increasingly anxious about whether or not I can keep up with the demands that I set for myself in planning the structure of this project and whether or not May was the right month to begin the project, but also increasingly excited about the prospects that lie ahead. I look forward to getting to know myself better.
What kind of experiences do you have with who you feel you are supposed to be compared to who you are? Have you found what you want to do in life? Do the people that you respect and care for the most see why you chose what you did or do you feel pressured that you are supposed to be doing something different?
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