I'm back!!!!

Good Afternoon my friends!

Aren't you glad that I didn't completely forget about you?  I know it's been a while since I've written and to be honest, it was the cramping in my fingers that reminded me to come back to you. 

So much has transpired in the last few months since I last wrote, that I couldn't possibly catch you up in one post, but I'll start updating on where I am now in my life path thoughts and hopefully it'll be like catching up with a friend that you haven't seen in a while. 

I don't want to overwhelm you on my first day back, so I'll just let this be a quick "hello" and a note that I did just add a post to my other blog: If a Kitchen Could Speak.  There's also a link in my new welcome message to the right of this blog, so if you ever want to check it out, you have an easy way of finding it. 

I hope that this marks the beginning of a renewed and fruitful habit of writing for you here, and I hope that you will give me your feedback and share your thoughts and whims in the comments section!

JMJ

Thoughts on Impulses

I can't believe that it's been a month since I last posted here.  Apologies to anyone who actually follows my blog.  I've been struggling with different impulses over the last month.  When I last wrote I had figured out that I wanted to go into I/O Psychology, and that is still something that I want to do.  But then I hit a snag with my pursuit of that path; namely, that I'm not sure if I/O Psych is the only discipline that could lead me into consulting and career coaching.  I decided to do a little research and networking and figure out if I/O Psych was the only way or if there are other paths that might be more suitable for me. 

Next thing I know, I got completely distracted trying to fix my work schedule and trying to use up some Groupons that were about to expire.  Way to go, Procrastinator Me at her best.  Turns out, I still haven't used the Groupons and when I finally got my October schedule figured out, my November schedule came out and now I have that to fix.  In the meantime, I started thinking of all the things that still itch me to get into.  You know, the things that aren't practical, but are so very tempting to me: writing and photography.

I was daydreaming about them mostly, but when my sister saw one of my photos blown up on a gallery wrapped canvas and asked me why I wasn't making a business out of it, I didn't really have a good answer except to admit that I was scared that I don't even know where to start doing that and mostly I was afraid that I would fail.  There are so many great photographers out there who have taken classes and own fancy cameras; how can I even pretend to compete with them?

A few days later, speaking with a friend's sister who is an artist got me thinking about a short story that I never finished writing.  If I just sat down and pushed through and finished it, she could do some awesome illustrations for it.  And then I had an idea for another story that could probably grow into a novel.  Just a few days after that I found out that tomorrow marks the beginning of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and decided to just jump into the deep end of the pool, head first, and take part in the challenge to write a 50,000 word novel entirely during the month of November.  Thankfully, it'll only be a rough draft, but even that will be a challenge to complete while flying and doing all the Thanksgiving rounds.  I'm definitely nervous and wondering if I'm way over my head, but I've never written a novel before, always wanted to, and if all the other people that do this every November can write 50,000 words, why can't I? 

So, now, thanks to my impulses, I'm writing a novel in November, trying to take dance classes to use up my Groupon in December, and at some point I'm signed up to do a 34-week virtual retreat.  This doesn't even include the task of figuring out how to market my photography, trying to take a photography class, working on my career research (that for the moment is on pause), or finishing up the children's story that I mentioned earlier in this post. 

About those impulses, my biggest two qualms are that I could fail and that they could just be distractions.  Tackling failure for just a moment, it is probably our biggest fear in any task we take on in life.  Think about how parents fear that they will fail to raise their children the right way, or the way that some people never seem to open a cookbook and turn on the stove for fear that they will fail and their meal will taste terrible.  The fear of failure stares us in the face from every direction we turn towards.  But, you can't gain anything without risking something, and no matter what else you risk, failure is always part of that.  You can't gain anything without possibly failing, and we learn from our failures, which means that the more failures we have, the more chances of gaining something we have had and the more chances to succeed thanks to the lessons we've learned we will have.

On the topic of distraction, I'm really not sure whether all of these impulses that come up and take over my attention are just distractions from my original purpose, or subconscious reminders that there are other things that, no matter how impractical, I really want to explore and pursue.  When I realized that I'd put the serious career project on hold for my writing and photography impulses, I felt guilty.  I felt like I had no follow through.  As I pondered the situation further, I realized that writing and photography have always been a part of who I am and probably will always be part of who I am.  They are ingrained in my genetic code and flow through my body like the blood through my veins.  Even when I came upon psychology as a possible career path, I was excited thinking that taking some psychology classes could also help me build better characters in my writing.  This all leads me to think that, as impractical as writing and photography are to pursue as careers, maybe they do lie in my personal career path after all. 

So, here I am, taking a break from what I will call the "serious" career project and launching on what I think is a necessary pursuit of my writing and photography.  If I never give them a serious chance, I will regret it and I don't believe in living with regrets.

What do you think?  Is there something that everyone has always told you can only be a hobby that you really have an urge to pursue more seriously?  Have you made a career out of something impractical or unusual?  If so, please share a comment.

Future Pictures and Revelations

I've been working since my last post to write a post about the new book that I am reading, Jason Ryan Dorsey's "My Reality Check Bounced."  I was getting caught up in trying to convey all my "aha! moments" instead of the result of those moments.  I've decided to try and change it up a bit; after all, you can always read the book yourself and find your own "aha! moments."

The book begins as a sort of pep talk.  You CAN have the life you want and you CAN build a career on your own terms, but in order to do that you must take action TODAY.  This is the same sort of thing that Ramit Sethi is talking about in his post about testing assumptions.

But, how do I begin?  I was asking this of myself as I continued to read.  The secret lies in formulating a very detailed and specific vision for your future.  Mr. Dorsey calls it a "future picture."  The author then provides an exercise in which you answer questions relating to your ideal career, family life, personal life, and life's meaning.  By answering questions like "what shoes will you wear to work?" and "what will be your main responsibility [at work]?" you start to form your "future picture."  Once you have a vision for all four areas of your life, you can pinpoint which areas are most important and how they all connect and your "future picture" becomes even clearer.

I determined that I want to wear cute shoes to work.  I want to pick out my shoes without restrictions on color or style and I want to be able to wear a skirt and heels without worrying about whether or not I'll be able to bend down to reach through a cart without showing too much of myself to passengers all around me or worrying that the second I get to work my pantyhose will inevitably get caught on something and run.    This was perhaps the answer that surprised me the most because I don't consider myself to be a girlie girl.  I enjoy being a girl, but I don't wear makeup every day and sometimes I'm just too lazy to blow-dry my hair, so who would have imagined that I'd miss wearing skirts and heels.  It made me realize that I love the image of the put together flight attendant in a skirt and heels, but it's so impractical with how low our staffing is and how physical the job is that I always seem to resort to pants and comfortable but tremendously ugly shoes.  (Thinking back about the hair and makeup, I'd probably do both if I didn't have to pack and unpack my makeup every time and gamble on whether the hotel hairdryer has a diffuser or not).

Some other things that I realized are that I enjoy being the person that knows everything there is to know about the job, and I enjoy being a leader.  I want to be the person who envisions something or understands and recommends how to approach a situation.  I want to be an expert of some sort.  I'm good at advising people and I'm a great problem-solver.  These aren't just things I am good at, but I enjoy doing them.

I also want to make some money.  I've always maintained that I don't care about money, but the truth of the matter is that it is tremendously hard to think about doing anything to help others when you can barely help yourself.  I want to make enough money to pay off college and debt and be comfortable.  If I have money left over, I'd love to start my own non-profit organization, or a company that will have a strong base of pro-bono work. And I want to have enough money to travel (and stay somewhere for more than 24 hours).

I learned that I love living in the city right now.  I also learned that one day I want to live in an area that is safe for my children, but close to a city where we can have access to museums and the arts.  I want to go out into nature on a regular basis.  I want to teach my kids languages and teach them about different cultures.  I want to infuse them with my Catholic faith, so that God can be as much the center of our family as He is the center of my life.  I want to have time to cook scrumptious meals and I want to experience the world fully and tell my children and grandchildren all sorts of stories about my adventures.

In my personal life area I want to have some structure.  Even if I can deviate from the 9-5, five days per week structure (which I'd like to have some power to do), I'd like to have some structure with time zones, waking hours, and mealtimes.  I'd like to be able to plan each day and get up and find my toothbrush and facial cleanser in the same spot in the bathroom instead of having to pull them out of my suitcase every morning.  I'd love to take part in my community and in my church.  I'd like for my free time to be completely my own to decide where to go and what to do, rather than some of it taking place hundreds of miles away from where I want or need to be.  I want to be able to have a gym membership and not feel like it's a waste of money because I'm never there to use it.  I want to get tired at the same time every day and wake up energized after a full night's sleep.

And when it comes to meaning, I want to center my life around my faith.  I want to use my intelligence and skills fully doing something that I love.  I want to do something good for others and do something to improve the world I live in. I want to have a fulfilling career AND family life.  One day I want to be as good a parent as my mother and grandmother were (and still are) to me.  I want to start something good that will continue after I am gone.  I want my legacy to be a movement that helps people strive to reach their full potential and I want the heirlooms that I leave my children to be the drive to pursue their greatest dreams and the heart to care for and help others who are less fortunate.    These are the things that I want most in life.

I still don't know exactly what job title I will end up having, but I suspect that it will be somehow related to psychology.  The more research I do, the more interested I become in either forensic or industrial organizational psychology.  There are so many areas of psychology that would help me create a movement or foundation to help people be themselves and learn about themselves and achieve a fulfilling career, which is my personal goal in life.  I kept thinking about all the times that I wonder what in the world someone was thinking when they decided how something at work should be done, and then I realized that I could be that person and I could be really good at it.  I am still considering forensic psychology because I have thought of studying law before and I think that I could do so much in that field as an expert who can help children, or who can help the people that work for justice in our society.  I think my next step will be to find some people in these fields (the I/O should be easy because my aunt happens to be studying the same thing right now) and find out more about the different jobs that I could pursue in each one.

I'm also working on taking some IQ tests and some career inventory tests to make sure I'm on the right track and that there isn't something that I don't even know about yet that I could be even more interested in and suited for.

Overall, I think I'm on a very good track in my career search.  I'm close to finding what it is in life that I am passionate about.  Mr. Dorsey emphasizes the importance of passion in his book stating that: "Passion is the simmering energy inside all of us that boils over when we are living our greatest, most authentic purpose."  That passion is what gives you the drive to pursue your dream and overcome any obstacles that threaten to keep you from achieving that dream.

The next step is to move from the reading and research phase to the action phase, starting with talking to people in the field like I mentioned above.

DREAMS + PASSION + ACTION = FULFILLMENT

What about you?  What are your dreams?  What gets you excited?  Do you know what your "future picture" looks like?  What are you doing, or what have you done, to achieve the life you want?

JMJ